Why I don't feel guilty traveling without my kids
As I fly home from this 2.5 day work trip and have another trip (3 nights away with friends) approaching this week, I keep coming back to all of the DMs I get whenever I’m away from fellow moms asking “how do you deal with leaving the kids?”, “do you feel guilty traveling without your sons??”, or “talk us through the mom-guilt on this”. So I figured what better a time to sit down and write out some of my thoughts on it all. The truth is, when I’m away, I don’t feel guilty. At all. Do I miss them and sometimes feel that longing and FOMO feeling wishing I could be two places in once so that I could observe every single thing they’re doing? Yes. But I honestly don’t feel guilty.
I don’t say this to be “better than” or act like I have everything figured out, because I most definitely do not, but to hopefully help other women work through their emotions to get to this place of freedom. I also should note that there is a small window of time where these mom-guilt feelings creep in for me and they are typically right before the trip as I get everything prepared (packing for myself, navigating all of the logistics of my upcoming trip, laying out all of the logistics for the kids if Joe is not going to be home, etc). Something about that specific window of time where I’m prepping everything for the trip I get these creeping thoughts in the back of my mind saying, “is this worth it?? Should I really be doing this?? Wouldn’t it just be easier to stay??” And the truth is, yes, it would be easier to stay. It would be easier to not have to pack a bag or plan out the boys’ schedules for while we’re gone or coordinate childcare when applicable. Of course it would. But would it be best? No. And that is a very important distinction. I also try to remind myself that, typically, these emotions are surfacing because I’m overwhelmed. Personally, the lead up to a trip (even pre-kids) has always caused me anxiety, so it is not surprising that I get worked up around all of this and then default those emotions into mom guilt.
However, once I step out that door and I’m actually on said “trip”, the guilt is gone. So here is why I think I’m able to release that…